Gotta Love The Onion

Al Gore Caught Warming Globe To Increase Box Office Profits

Al Gore Caught Warming Globe To Increase Box Office Profits

The Onion is running their best of 2006 this week, and it’s worth the trip over there to check out some of their priceless contributions to the news industry. From all of us who are now “Person of the Year 2006,” a big thank you to The Onion for keeping us all informed!

The Onion


NewsHour with Jim Lehrer

Watching The NewsHour with Jim Jehrer last night, and suddenly the television went dead.? Or so I thought.? I was preoccupied, walking about the house, getting things together for myself.? Turns out the television was not dead at all.? The NewsHour was showing the dead, images of American soldiers killed recently in Iraq.

And I looked with new eyes.? Army.? Army.? Army.? Marines.? Army.? Marines.? I don’t remember freezing like that since the war began.? Now the numbers and the faces meant something different.

Because of my son and his plans.

We all need to wake up.? Desperately.? Too many names and faces already.


Joining the Army

My son met with an Army recruiter today.? He says it went well, and he’s seriously looking at joining the Army.

If he does, he will report on January 15, 2007.

If he does, look for Turning Left to turn seriously left.? I love him like mad, and strongly support his plans for his future.? I know he’s put a lot of thought into this decision.? I want him home.? Alive.? But more than that, I want him to be all that he can be, in this Army of One.? I want him to find his path, his future, his dreams.? I know he’s been thinking about this, and putting it off because of the serious situations we face right now.? Because of the President, his lack of plans, his lack of foresight.? His lack of direction, common sense.

You name it.

My son is very close to joining the Army.

My only son.

My only child.

Who says The Left doesn’t pray?


Bush: 0 and 2 in War

With President George Bush all but rejecting the findings of The Iraq Study Group’s report, we must accept the sad fact that we have lost the war in Iraq. The country is decimated, disorganized, and dangerous. As of this writing, 2,922 American soldiers have lost their lives.

2,922.

Between 49,642 and 55,048 Iraqi citizens have lost their lives.

This is tragedy beyond comprehension.

We don’t even have a definition of what victory in Iraq might mean. The cause is lost.

ABC news reported tonight that Afghanistan is seeing a resurgence of the Taliban.

Well, consider this. If we lose in Afghanistan also, George Bush will be the first president in United States history to lose two wars.

Two, George. A man who can’t put two words together is on the verge of a uniquely infamous place in U.S. history.


Gingrich Freely Calls for Restrictions on Free Speech

Newt Gingrich, exercising his rights as an American, called out for less free speech for the rest of us:

“We need to get ahead of the curve rather than wait until we actually literally lose a city, which I think could literally happen in the next decade if we’re unfortunate,” Mr. Gingrich said Monday night during a speech in New Hampshire. “We now should be impaneling people to look seriously at a level of supervision that we would never dream of if it weren’t for the scale of the threat.”

Speaking at an award dinner billed as a tribute to crusaders for the First Amendment, Mr. Gingrich, who is considering a run for the White House in 2008, painted an ominous picture of the dangers facing America.

“This is a serious, long-term war,” the former speaker said, according an audio excerpt of his remarks made available yesterday by his office. “Either before we lose a city or, if we are truly stupid, after we lose a city, we will adopt rules of engagement that use every technology we can find to break up their capacity to use the Internet, to break up their capacity to use free speech, and to go after people who want to kill us to stop them from recruiting people.”

Let freedom ring.


The Cost of War

As of this writing, 2,874 American soldiers have been killed in Iraq.? Total non-mortal casualties, all service branches, is at 46,137.

There have been between 47,781 and 53,014 Civilians reported killed by military intervention in Iraq.

In dollars, the cost of the war in Iraq is $345.28 billion dollars.

Total number of Weapons of Mass Destruction found in Iraq: 0.


Rumsfeld okayed Abu Graib abuses

Reuters reported on Saturday that outgoing U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld authorised the mistreatment of detainees at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, the prison’s former U.S. commander said in an interview on Saturday.

Former U.S. Army Brigadier General Janis Karpinski told Spain’s El Pais newspaper she had seen a letter apparently signed by Rumsfeld which allowed civilian contractors to use techniques such as sleep deprivation during interrogation.

Karpinski, who ran the prison until early 2004, said she saw a memorandum signed by Rumsfeld detailing the use of harsh interrogation methods. “The handwritten signature was above his printed name and in the same handwriting in the margin was written: “Make sure this is accomplished”,” she told Saturday’s El Pais.


Gotta Love Michael

If you tried logging on to Turning Left yesterday, you may have seen a bunch of code, PHP and otherwise, errors all over the place.? Our host was migrating the database server, physically moving it from one room to another, and that caused some problems until everything was restored.

So, I apologize for the inconvenience, and welcome you back to Turning Left.

I took some time off after the election from Turning Left. A friend sent me the following from Michael Moore. I’m printing it in its entirety. Michael says to distribute it freely.

Here it is:

A Liberal’s Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives …by Michael Moore

To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,

I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last week’s election. You’re worried that the country is heading toward a very bad place you don’t want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended with so much yet to do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk, and I understand.

Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for you. I, and the millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic Congress, have a pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that we offer you because we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know what we plan to do with our newfound power — and, to be specific, what we will do to you and for you.

Thus, here is our Liberal’s Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:

Dear Conservatives and Republicans,

I, and my fellow signatories, hereby make these promises to you:

1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never, ever, call you “unpatriotic” simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you to dissent and disagree with us.

2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consider your behavior to be “different” or “immoral.” Who you marry is none of our business. Love and be in love — it’s a wonderful gift.

3. We will not spend your grandchildren’s money on our personal whims or to enrich our friends. It’s your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for you.

4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring your sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never to send your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.

5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal health coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we promise that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay. And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases that affect you and your loved ones, we’ll make sure those advances are available to you and your family, too.

6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean up our air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathe the cleaner air and drink the purer water.

7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice. Immediately. We will protect you.

8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do there as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count your age from the moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.

9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren’t much of a hunter and you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make our streets and schools as free as we can from these weapons and we will protect your children just as we would protect ours.

10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you — and your employees — that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will pay conservative women that wage, too.

11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don’t put those beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most radical religious beliefs (“Blessed are the poor,” “Blessed are the peacemakers,” “Love your enemies,” “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God,” and “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”). We will let people in other countries know that God doesn’t just bless America, he blesses everyone. We will discourage religious intolerance and fanaticism — starting with the fanaticism here at home, thus setting a good example for the rest of the world.

12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition.

I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You are every bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We sink or swim as one. Thank you for your years of service to this country and for giving us the opportunity to see if we can make things a bit better for our 300 million fellow Americans — and for the rest of the world.

Signed,

Michael Moore
[email protected]
(Click here to sign the pledge)
www.michaelmoore.com

P.S. Please feel free to pass this on.


Now what!

We have the House. We have the Senate, although by a very narrow margin. Where do we go from here? Listening to progressive radio this week, I heard many callers who assumed that the first order of business would be impeachment, although Speaker-to-be Pelosi has said it’s off the table. The assumption is that she lied just as the administration has lied about so many things. Yech! If we don’t take the high ground now we’re as bad as the neocons. Pelosi has enumerated priorities. These are issues that should have been addressed in the last six years. We have two years to make some progress. If we waste this time on revenge we will be behaving like bratty kids. We have the upper hand, but we can count on it for a very limited time,? a circumstance? the Republicans? ignored to their peril. Plus, and this is very important, Bush is impeached; we get Cheney. We try to impeach both; we pretty much waste the whole of the two years we have. Do they deserve impeachment? I think so! Do we deserve the results of an impeachment attempt? No way! Maybe we could try it if we could count on having the six years they had, but we can’t count on more than two. We had better make the most of them.

?


Dobson Sounding Haggard

Dr. James DobsonMega-Christian James Dobson, one of the saved, said this week that he ‘doesn’t have time’ to be on the panel of Christian experts involved in working to restore disgraced preacher Ted Haggard. Dobson is the founder and chairman of Focus on the Family. Dobson said in a prepared statement:

“It is with great regret – and after much prayer and discussion with friends and family – that I have had to reconsider my involvement in the panel overseeing Ted’s restoration. Emotionally and spiritually, I wanted to be of help, but the reality is I don’t have the time to devote to such a critical responsibility. Ted and his family will be better served by someone whose energies and attention are not tugged on in quite so many directions.”All of us at Focus on the Family will continue to pray for Ted and Gayle and their children. I certainly hope to speak with him – friend to friend – as he moves forward. And I believe if he and his loved ones follow the counsel of Godly mentors and cooperate with the therapeutic process, their best days are ahead.”

The team plans to get Haggard into a program with psychologists and church experts on sexual issues.

Well, that should be fun.

Dobson’s too busy fuming about the elections this week. Quoth he:

“Laura Ingraham said it best. When Congressional Republicans wait until the First of October to begin reaching out to their base, they are destined to lose. That was the GOP’s downfall. They consistently ignored the constituency that put them in power until it was late in the game, and then frantically tried to catch up at the last minute. In 2004, conservative voters handed them a 10-seat majority in the Senate and a 29-seat edge in the House. And what did they do with their power? Very little that Values Voters care about.

“Many of my colleagues saw this coming. I said in an interview with U.S. News and World Report shortly after the 2004 elections, “If Republicans in the White House and in Congress squander this opportunity, I believe they will pay a price for it in four years—or maybe in two.” Sadly for conservatives, that in large measure explains what happened on Tuesday night. Many of the Values Voters of ’04 simply stayed at home this year.

Must be tough to be so right all the time.