Ben Roethlisberger needs positive headelines, soon.

Not like this, from USA Today:

Police in Dublin, Ohio, investigated a golf foursome that included Pittsburgh Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger after a woman bordering the course alleged that a person in the group had urinated in public.

Dublin police spokesman David Ball told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review that no charges or citations were issued and that Roethlisberger was not the person seen urinating.

"We received a call that said a member of the party urinated on private property," Ball told the paper. "We spoke to the golf course and they agreed to discuss this issue internally with their members."

Roethlisberger, a native of Findlay, Ohio, was suspended 6 games in April for violating the league’s personal-conduct policy. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell ordered Roethlisberger into a behavioral evaluation program and held open the potential for extending the ban if he wasn’t satisfied by Roethlisberger’s progress.

Double Yoy!

Here you go: the terrifying, riveting video all Jonas Brothers fans have been waiting for. Yes, this heart-stopping moment is brought to you by AOL News.

No, this isn’t ‘Love in an Elevator.’ This is the Jonas Brothers, after all.

Enjoy these meaningless few minutes as you watch the brothers elude danger, certain death…, well, none of that, really. If you’re here, just enjoy.

No, they’re not kidding. One hundred people in Black Hawk, Colorado, believe their village would be safer without bicicyles on the streets.

This one comes to us from across the pond:

A town in the US has banned cyclists on most of its streets, punishing anyone who gets caught with a $68 (£46) fine. Black Hawk in Colorado, which has a population of just above 100, is thought to be the first town in the US to make cycling illegal after a change in civic law.

The curious decree has been introduced for "health and safety" reasons, said administrators of the former goldmining town, which in the 1990s decided to develop gambling to prevent the place vanishing altogether.

Michael Copp, Black Hawk’s city manager, the equivalent of chief executive of a local council in the UK, admitted there had not been any accidents to prompt the ban, just concern over potential collisions between motor vehicles and bicycles on 19th-century streets that were designed for horses and carriages.

The town started enforcing the ban on 5 June, five months after it passed the law requiring cyclists to dismount and wheel their bikes through the town. So far eight tickets have been issued, said Copp.

Copp, who does not cycle himself, said the council passed the ordinance after the town experienced a surge in traffic – buses, delivery trucks, and motorists – following a law that increased the maximum betting limits from $5 to $100 once it chose gambling as its raison d’etre.

No accidents. And this gamble-happy hamlet apparently consulted no experts, no national studies. Just did away with two-wheelers.

Oy.

Two Naperville men face Class 4 felony charges because of the way they allegedly chose to celebrate the Chicago Blackhawks Stanley Cup victory.

From the Sun-Times:

A Naperville man and his son caught the unexpected attention of police as the men allegedly celebrated the Blackhawks’ Stanley Cup victory by firing rounds from an assault rifle into the ground behind their home.

Mark W. Steinbrecher, 54, and his son Mark S. Steinbrecher, 20, were wearing shirts embossed with Blackhawks and Stanley Cup insignia when their booking photographs were taken at the Naperville police station. Both men face Class 4 felony charges of reckless discharge of a firearm.

Police Cmdr. Dave Hoffman said patrol officers were sent at 12:40 a.m. to the Steinbrechers’ house on Naperville’s far southwest side. A neighbor called 911 to report "a subject in the backyard firing a weapon,” Hoffman said.

I don’t understand.

Ugh.

Here’s the scoop (sorry about that):

A New Jersey man is facing charges after police say he intentionally vomited on an 11-year-old girl and her father in the stands during a Phillies game.

Matthew Clemmens, 21, of Cherry Hill, N.J., was arraigned Friday on charges stemming from his behavior at Wednesday night’s Phillies-Nationals game. Police say Clemmens made himself vomit on an off-duty police captain and his daughter after a companion was kicked out for unruly behavior.

The plea:

Matthew Clemmens of Cherry Hill, N.J., pleaded guilty today to charges stemming from the incident at a Phillies-Nationals game on April 14.

Police say Clemmens stuck his fingers down his throat and vomited on Easton police Captain Michael Vangelo and his daughter after Clemmens’ companion was ejected from the park.

And the dude:

Enough said.

Go Hawks!

Oy. Vey.

From Think Progress:

Late last month, the Wall Street Journal reported that the Arizona Department of Education “recently began telling school districts that teachers whose spoken English it deems to be heavily accented or ungrammatical must be removed from classes for students still learning English”:

State education officials say the move is intended to ensure that students with limited English have teachers who speak the language flawlessly. But some school principals and administrators say the department is imposing arbitrary fluency standards that could undermine students by thinning the ranks of experienced educators. [...]

“This is just one more indication of the incredible anti-immigrant sentiment in the state,” said Bruce Merrill, a professor emeritus at Arizona State University who conducts public-opinion research.

At one school, for example, state auditors complained that teachers pronounced “words such as violet as ‘biolet,’ think as ‘tink’ and swallow the ending sounds of words, as they sometimes do in Spanish.” The principal at that school acknowledged that teachers “should speak grammatically correct English” but said they shouldn’t be punished for having an accent.

The man in charge of this project, far-right Arizona superintendent Tom Horne — who is running for attorney general — has been going on national media in recent days to defend his policies.

What would he do if he wandered into a Latin Mass? Arrest the priest?

More here.

Is it possible to say that Rush Limbaugh has gone too far?

Just when you think he’s topped himself, out comes another brain fart. And, once again, Rush takes advantage of the misery of others to pad his pocketbook.

Watch the video, and wonder why….

From the Chicago Sun-Times:

Former Cicero Town President Betty Loren-Maltese isn’t just a story. She’s a headline.

The feisty village chieftain, who spent seven years in a federal prison after a public corruption conviction, has dropped weight, shed the major eyelashes, looks ka-pow and begins a new career tonight: serving as the evening hostess at Salerno’s restaurant, a high-end pizza parlor on Roosevelt Road in Oak Park.

"The owner thought I needed a break and, in turn, it would be good for business," said Maltese, who now lives in a modest apartment in Evergreen Park she shares with two goldfish: "Priscilla and Elvis."

"I love animals, the landlord doesn’t allow pets, and I lost my dog, ‘Punky,’ when I went to prison," she said. "So I have goldfish — and I swear they are synchronized swimmers."

I once described Maltese as a piece of painted shrapnel with a sense of humor.

The paint is now pastel, but shrapnel peppers commentary on her conviction in 2002.

Her mission: "To clear my name and reunite with my daughter, Ashleigh Rose, who is now 13," Maltese said.

"To this day I maintain my innocence," she said. "How much more can they do? I’ve lost Ashleigh. I’ve lost everything I’ve worked for my whole life. And I continue to question the omission of evidence that could have found me not guilty."

I don’t know what to say here. Betty was found guilty. She served her time.

I wish her well.

But, wow, serving pizza?

Never saw that coming.

Still fighting the Civil War, and apparently unhappy that his children and grandchildren will live in a country with a better health care system than he did before entering Congress, Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA) calls the Civil War "The Great War of Yankee Aggression."

Enjoy the short video clip from Media Matters.

From the Chicago Sun-Times:

Former Gov. Rod Blagojevich won’t be able to delay his trial on public corruption charges, a federal judge said today.

U.S. District Judge James Zagel said the trial should go forward as planned on June 3. He called a pending U.S. Supreme Court decision that could redefine a statute that some of Blagojevich’s charges are based on a “red herring.’’

“I don’t see any reason to continue this case,’’ Zagel said. “This is more than a year to acquaint yourselves with the evidence.’’

Last week, lawyers for the indicted governor made a formal request to continue the June trial to November, saying they’ve been snowed under by recently turned over evidence, and they still await the Supreme Court ruling. Prosecutors opposed any delay for Blagojevich, who debuted on the television show “Celebrity Apprentice’’ on Sunday. They said the ex-governor has had plenty of time to prepare for trial.

The circus comes to town in June.

A Mississippi school district cancelled a local high school’s prom on Wednesday after an openly lesbian student asked to bring her girlfriend as a date, The Associated Press reported on Thursday.

In a statement released by the Itawamba County school district, school board members state that “Due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events, the Itawamba County School District has decided to not host a prom at Itawamba Agricultural High School this year.”

The student, Constance McMillen, 18, told Jackson, Miss. newspaper The Clarion Ledger that the cancellation is retaliation for her request to bring her girlfriend to the event.

“I feel like I should be able to go and be myself and not have to worry about what clothes I’m wearing or who I am bringing or who I’m dancing with,” McMillen said.

USA Today reports today that “school officials told McMillen last month that she could not bring her sophomore girlfriend to the prom and also told her she could not wear a tuxedo. The school then circulated a memo that prohibited same-sex dates.”

McMillen then ACLU, and the school district canceled the prom.

So it goes.

Garry Meier played this bizarre Russian song on the air at WGN Radio 720 this week. WGN says, "We can’t quite figure out the lyrics, but then again, there don’t seem to be any."

I would agree. I don’t hear any Russian words at all in the song.

The Russian you see at the beginning is roughly translated, "I am very glad, at last, to return home." I don’t have my Russian dictionary with me. If anyone can do better, please let me know, and I’ll give you credit.

The guy singing looks like he just stepped out of the Lawrence Welk show. That, or he’s a relative of "Smiling Bob" from the Enzyte commercial.

From MediaMatters.org:

Right-wing media figures seized on what ABC News’ Jake Tapper has described as an "apparently erroneous" report of a statement allegedly made by President Obama’s nominee for special envoy to the Organization of the Islamic Conference Rashad Hussain to portray him as a "pro-jihadist," a "radical," and a "terrorist sympathizer." But, as Tapper points out, Hussain has argued that terrorism is "antithetical" to Islam had has written extensively on "[d]iscrediting the terrorist ideology…to stop al-Qaeda and other terrorist groups."

Right-wing media figures smear Hussain as pro-terrorist and call for his firing

Fox News: "Obama’s Islamic Envoy Quoted Defending Man Charged With Aiding Terrorists." A February 16 FoxNews.com article reported on the "controversy over remarks attributed to [Hussain] defending a man who later pleaded guilty to conspiring to aid a terrorist group." Despite acknowledging in the article that "the White House says the controversial remarks defending Al-Arian two years earlier were made by his daughter — not by Hussain," the article ran the title "Obama’s Islamic Envoy Quoted Defending Man Charged With Aiding Terrorists."

American Thinker calls Hussain "a terrorist sympathizer," who is "pro-jihadist." On a February 18 blog, American Thinker contributor J. C. Arenas asked "how a terrorist sympathizer has risen to such a position within the president’s administration." Arenas also calls Hussain "pro-jihadist" and referred to President Obama’s "radical minions," who are "members of an increasing network of radical individuals whom share a common belief system and they’re working together for a common purpose; to fundamentally change America."

Atlas Shrugs called Hussain a "Jihadist in the White House." On February 17, Atlas Shrugs writer Pamela Geller highlighted a Human Events post by Robert Spencer, under the headline "Covering up for Jihadists in the White House."

Hannity guest: Hussain’s appointment is "an intentional effort to get folks with a radical perspective into the administration." On the February 17 edition of his Fox News program, host Sean Hannity said of Hussain’s appointment: "[N]ow I don’t know what has happened with the vetting process," adding that "[an] Obama nominee defended a guy who was convicted of aiding a terrorist group." Fox News contributor Pat Caddell said, "[I]f the White House hadn’t had so many problems with people, they might be able to get away with the fact that they are claiming it was his sister." Fox News contributor Kate Obenshain claimed that "there’s no mistake, it’s not the vetting process, Sean. It’s an intentional effort to get folks with a radical perspective into the administration," and said of the disputed quote, "Give me a break! This guy, you mean to tell me for five years, he didn’t mind being inappropriately — a quote inappropriately attributed to him where he’s defending a man involved with an organization that killed over 100 Israelis?"

Brad Blakeman: Hussain has "more in common with our enemies than what we stand for as a nation" and Obama should "dump him now." Appearing on the February 17 edition of Fox News’ America Live, Republican strategist Brad Blakeman asked "how is it possible that the White House found somebody who has more in common with our enemies than what we stand for as a nation? This is our representative to the Muslim world? Somebody who aids and abets a confessed terrorist?" After host Megyn Kelly asked Blakeman if he was "overstat[ing] the case," he responded "I do not," and added, "For him to have made those comments after being appointed to a White House position is unconscionable and the president needs to dump this guy and dump him now."

Read more here at Media Matters.

They have got to be kidding.

No, they’re not.

Did the speakers at CPAC really think no one would take a picture of their teleprompters, especially when they were criticizing others for using teleprompters?

From Technorati:

The Conservative Political Action Conference kicked off this morning with several speakers chipping away at White House policy and why Democrats are bad for your health. Excessive riffing was done on Obama’s teleprompter addiction, but the twist is that the CPAC speakers were making such jokes … while using teleprompters.

Will there come a day when we will get substantive contributions from conservatives to our national dialogue? Or are they just good for the occasional clown show?

No matter what it is.

From Open Left:

On February 8th, Republican House leader John Beohner sent a letter to the White House, demanding that the White House post online any health care proposal it wished to discuss at the health care summit:

If the President intends to present any kind of legislative proposal at this discussion, will he make it available to members of Congress and the American people at least 72 hours beforehand?

So, four days later, the White House accepted this demand, and announced it would post a legislative proposal online more than 72 hours before the summit:

Since this meeting will be most productive if information is widely available before the meeting, we will post online the text of a proposed health insurance reform package.

Boehner’s response defies logic:

Boehner’s condemnation comes as the White House announced it would post comprehensive healthcare reform legislation online before the meeting. The Ohio Republican said it is now clear that Democrats intend to move ahead on their own course regardless of negotiations.

"A productive bipartisan discussion should begin with a clean sheet of paper," Boehner said in a statement. "We now know that instead of starting the ‘bipartisan’ health care ‘summit’ on Feb. 25 with a clean sheet of paper, the president and his party intend to arrive with a new bill written behind closed doors exclusively by Democrats– a backroom deal that will transform one-sixth of our nation’s economy and affect every family and small business in America."

Boehner’s request is not ancient history; it happened February 8 of this year.

There you have it, the Party of No. Impossible to work with at every turn.

Time for Reconciliation, to keep Democracy moving.

Nod to Americablog for this.