From the Weekly World News:

WASHINGTON -  Several days after Michele Bachmann won approval for The Tea Party Caucus in the House, Nancy Pelosi has announced she will join.

Speaker of the House Pelosi made this statement, “Even though there are many cross-dressers, nail-biters and bedwetters in this Republican caucus, I think by joining I can finally get them to think straight.”  She explained that Republicans have a long history of  closeted sexual behavior and the “best way to win over Tea Party members is to go their caucus meetings, tie them up and beat them.  That’s what they want, and that’s what I’ll give them.  Really, it’s very similar to the way I work with every other Caucus.”

When Jake Tapper  of ABC asked her why she was dressed as dominatrix for the press conference, Pelosi said “Oh, I just forgot to change.  I’m tired of being subtle and many Republican House members love it, particularly Representative Pete Sessions of Texas… he’s a bad boy, a really bad boy.”  Pelosi snapped her whip toward Rep. Sessions, who then barked like a dog.

This cracked me up. And there’s more.

My favorite line comes from Rep. Gary G. Miller of California.

Enjoy.

Now this, from the Sun-Times:

A $5,000 Oxxford suit, $1,400 spent on Geneva Custom Shirts, $63 in Hanro underwear and $214 in ties — and it was all bought in a matter of days.

The Blagojevich household spent more on fine clothing than on their mortgage, child care, travel or private schools in the years that Rod Blagojevich served as governor, testimony at his trial today showed.

Jurors in the ex-governor’s trial were shown credit card bill after credit card bill where Rod Blagojevich dropped hundreds of dollars at a time on ties at Saks Fifth Avenue and thousands of dollars on high-end, custom Oxxford suits, not to mention pricey Allen Edmonds footwear.

The grand total from 2002-2008: more than $400,000 on clothes.

Several thousand dollars was spent in November of 2003 on Maximilian Furs.

The line of the day belongs to Blago’s brother, Rob:

On his way out of court, Rod’s brother, Robert, who is also on trial, stopped and smiled.

“For the record, I buy my ties on sale,” he said.

That does it for me. In addition to other categories, I am now filing the Trial of Rod Blagojevich under “Entertainment.”

Oy.

Take a look at Best of the Blogs.

It’s worth the click.

Here you go: the terrifying, riveting video all Jonas Brothers fans have been waiting for. Yes, this heart-stopping moment is brought to you by AOL News.

No, this isn’t ‘Love in an Elevator.’ This is the Jonas Brothers, after all.

Enjoy these meaningless few minutes as you watch the brothers elude danger, certain death…, well, none of that, really. If you’re here, just enjoy.

Thanks to Cait for pointing us to this video.

We look for humor where we can find it.

Thanks, Cait.

Gotta love The Onion:

In an attempt to convince an anxious populace that his legislative agenda is working and that everything is going to be all right, President Barack Obama embarked on a 50-state, 30,000-town tour Monday during which he plans to gaze assuredly into the eyes of each American citizen, one at a time.

"I know a lot of people out there are nervous. They’re worried about unemployment, the oil spill in the Gulf, and whether or not I am making the right choices in Washington," Obama said during a rally at Rockland District High School. "To those Americans, I offer you this inspiring, confident gaze."

Obama then stepped down from his podium, walked into the 2,000-person audience, and peered comfortingly into each person’s eyes. After taking 45 minutes to methodically work his way from the front row all the way to the balcony, and punctuating each look with a gentle pat on the shoulder, Obama returned to the stage, collected himself, and addressed the silent group before him.

"There," he said. "All better."

In their announcement of the "2010 Eye-to-Eye Tour," White House officials said that Obama will first spend two weeks making eye contact with the 55 million residents of the densely populated Northeastern states, looking into their eyes and, if necessary, offering them an encouraging head nod. Obama will then continue down the East Coast before taking on the tour’s biggest challenge: gazing with confidence into the eyes of a hostile Southern electorate that largely rejects his policies.

More on this Onion exclusive here.

A blast from the past, courtesy a friend (and real author) on Facebook.

Enjoy the Fokker.

Congress bows to gay agenda, repeals ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’

Congress has given in to pressure from gay activists and the White House and voted to repeal the "don’t ask, don’t tell" ban on gays and lesbians serving openly in the military…

And I’m just amazed the variety of categories I was able apply to put this tiny blog post.

Yup.

Yes, you read that headline correctly, and, as of this writing, Michael Steele is still employed by the Republican National Committee. Michael Steele and the RNC submitted filings to the FEC indicating that huge amounts of conservative RNC-donor dollars went for wild GOP planning meetings in front of topless women at a bondage-themed nightclub.

Double Yoy!

From The Daily Caller:

While Steele has not purchased a plane, he continues to charter them. According to federal disclosure records, the RNC spent $17,514 on private aircraft in the month of February alone (as well as $12,691 on limousines during the same period). There are no readily identifiable private plane expenses for Democratic National Committee chairman Tim Kaine in the DNC’s last three months of filings.

The RNC explains that Steele charters jets only when commercial service is unavailable, or when his tight schedule requires it. “Anytime the chairman has taken any private travel has been a either to a route that doesn’t exist or because of connections and multiple travel to where he just wasn’t able to do so,” Heye said. Yet Steele’s office repeatedly refused to explain in specific terms the circumstances of the February charter flights.

Once on the ground, FEC filings suggest, Steele travels in style. A February RNC trip to California, for example, included a $9,099 stop at the Beverly Hills Hotel, $6,596 dropped at the nearby Four Seasons, and $1,620.71 spent [update: the amount is actually $1,946.25] at Voyeur West Hollywood, a bondage-themed nightclub featuring topless women dancers imitating lesbian sex.

That’ll keep your trunk up.

Talk about Conservatives Gone Wild.

I love this.

From a friend at Facebook.

“Guess what? I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!”

Enjoy some classic Saturday Night Liver featuring Will Ferrell, Christopher Walken and … MORE COWBELL!!!

From Yahoo! News:

In a fitting show of solidarity for International Women’s Day, First Lady Michelle Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made light of the brutal 2008 battle Clinton conducted to defeat Barack Obama for the Democratic presidential nomination. As Michelle Obama launched a State Department commemoration of International Women’s Day, she briefly stumbled over Clinton’s job title. "Let me thank my dear friend, Senator – Secretary Clinton. I almost said, ‘President Clinton,’ " said the first lady to laughter and applause. "But let me thank you for that kind introduction, and most of all thank you for your friendship, thank you for your support, and thank you for your indispensable advice in getting me through this first year and helping me figure out how to get my family settled in our new life in D.C."

The exchange stood as another rebuke to a favored theme of the Beltway pundit set: that tensions between the Obamas and the Secretary of State still run high. More than that, though, the series of events that the first lady presided over drew wider attention to the stubborn lags in gender equality beyond the developed Western world. Both women stressed this issue in their respective speeches. As Secretary Clinton put it, the world "can’t solve problems of financial crisis, climate change, disease and poverty if half of the population is left behind."

It’s so nice to see this pleasant exchange. The pundits on the left and the pundits on the right want to see arguments and fights. Turns out they get along just fine.

Michelle is incredible. And Secretary Clinton is as well.

Story from WKMG out of Orlando, Florida:

The animal rights group PETA said on Wednesday that it plans on using a billboard featuring Tiger Woods that says "too much sex can be a bad thing" to encourage pet owners to spay and neuter their cats and dogs.

The PETA, which the group said it hopes to post near Woods’ Isleworth home in Windermere, shows a picture of Tiger Woods and the words "Too Much Sex Can Be a Bad Thing … For Little Tigers Too. Help Keep Your Cats (and Dogs) Out of Trouble: Always Spay or Neuter! PETA."

Woods has no formal affiliation with the organization and has not previewed or endorsed the ad, according to the group, which said the image and idea were "too good to pass up."

I’m sure Tiger will be thrilled.

They have got to be kidding.

No, they’re not.

Did the speakers at CPAC really think no one would take a picture of their teleprompters, especially when they were criticizing others for using teleprompters?

From Technorati:

The Conservative Political Action Conference kicked off this morning with several speakers chipping away at White House policy and why Democrats are bad for your health. Excessive riffing was done on Obama’s teleprompter addiction, but the twist is that the CPAC speakers were making such jokes … while using teleprompters.

Will there come a day when we will get substantive contributions from conservatives to our national dialogue? Or are they just good for the occasional clown show?

Lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground.

Enjoy.