I would love to talk to the officer who wrote this one up.
A woman reported two bags stolen from a bench at the bus stop at the corner of Victory Drive and Main Street shortly after 10 p.m. on October 23. According to the complainant, she stated that after getting off the bus, she set her bags down on the bench at the bus stop, and went into the bushes to urinate, leaving her bags unattended. When she came out of the bushes, she noticed that her bags had been taken from the bus stop bench, and observed a black female dressed in a dark hooded sweatshirt walking away from the bench with her bags. Another passenger on the bus reported that he also got off the bus, went into the bushes to urinate, and saw a woman dressed in dark clothing take the two bags from the bench.
First, I cannot imagine myself ever witnessing a crime and having to tell the officer taking the report that I was in the bushes taking care of urinating — at least not since my college days.
The victim and the witness were not ticketed for “pubic elimination of bodily waste,” as the charge would stand (and even that sounds funny), most likely because of the theft.
Still, I think I’ll to avoid that bus stop.